Saturday, September 23, 2006

The top 10 ugliest, most embarrassing fashion trends of the past 25 years

I'm not exactly known for my fashion sense. About 90% of the time I'm wearing shorts and a plain, solid-color t-shirt. Still, I don't need to be Joan Rivers to see some of the travesties of the past twenty-five years and be utterly stupefied.

Sometimes I wonder what aliens would think, if they came down to Earth to observe us. What would they say to their overlords?

"We can take these guys no problem. They're not even smart enough to take the tags off their hats after they buy them."

Here is a list of the top ten most embarrassing fashion trends of the past 25 years. These are all clothing and accessory-related, so you won't find any mullets, or "The Rachels," or rat tails, or Flock of Seagulls, or tramp stamps listed here because I could do a whole list about those. And no 70's clothes, either, 'cause my computer would crash. The 80's were more than enough.

If I missed anything, let me know.

10) Shoulder Pads

I don't know whose idea it was that women who look like linebackers are more attractive. The shoulder pad, like the padded bra or elevator shoes, were designed to change the way a woman looked, as opposed to accentuating what they already had. I guess sloping shoulders were considered unattractive, but being shaped like Spongebob Squarepants was wicked sexy.


"I have to use a level to make sure I'm dressed properly."

Thankfully as the 80's waned, these little triangles were being ripped out in droves. I remember going into the laundry room one day and finding a knee-high pile of them on the floor.



9) Hats that don't fit/bandanna under the hat

Some trends I won't see as obnoxious or ugly when they first come out, and it isn't until a few years later will I realize exactly how stupid they were.


"No matter how hard I push, it just doesn't go on. Maybe I need a bigger one."

This is not one of those.

Like a random bandaid on the face, the whole hat thing probably became popular because a rap artist was too drunk to notice he hadn't properly dressed. The next thing you know Ludacris is going to piss himself on stage, and we'll have legions of kids walking around with a wet stain between their legs. Abercrombie & Fitch will begin to sell pre-urinated-on jeans for $220, and Wal-Mart will eliminate bathroom breaks for their Chinese factory workers and just store the jeans under their chairs.



I foresee a great demand for chiropractors in the near future, with everyone walking around with their necks wrenched back because they can't see otherwise.

8) Leg Warmers

So I saw Footloose the other day. Yup. Lots o' leg warmers.



Legwarmers were a part of that whole "I got farted on by a rainbow" 80's trend. I've never worn them, so I don't know how effective they were at actually warming the leg, but I'm pretty certain they were worn more as a fashion statement than with purpose.

7) Shirts with stupid sayings on them



It's like somebody let Spencer's Gifts out of the mall and out into the public, and now that it's free, it's not going away.

I've talked about these before, and I am guilty of exploiting this trend from time to time. While there's nothing really wrong with slogan shirts, especially when you're just lounging around, there's this invisible line that goes from innocuous to annoying to really, mind-crunchingly stupid. And this whole semi-recent crop of sayings shirts are all in that third category.


Imagine walking around telling the same people the same joke over and over again. And what's worse, the joke is terrible. Now look at your shirt.

6) Zubaz

You know how they say when something is so traumatic, you can forget about it? You know what I mean. Repressed memories and all that jazz. Well, I forgot about these, and I was happier because of it.

Then I saw Rex (Diedrich Bader) in the movie Napoleon Dynamite sporting an American Flag version of these, and it all came rushing back.

Zubaz. Clown pajama pants. That you wear out in public.


I don't know what it was, and maybe it was just me, but every guy I knew who wore these was either a jerk or a meathead. Maybe the Zubaz company secretly injected you with a jolt of testosterone when you slid them on or wearing them somehow made you feel like The Boz. I don't know. But the author of Napoleon Dynamite saw it.


RexKwanDo pants

5) Half Shirts / half sweaters / half jackets

I'm combining these even though they could each be their own category. Anyway, I'm not sure if this has been scientifically proven or not, but I'm pretty certain if a straight guy wore a half shirt (crop top/bellyshirt/whatever) out in public sometime during his lifetime, he is haunted by nightmares where he is turned magically into Prince. This can only be cured by therapy. And if it's not dealt with, it really happens.

Ever wonder what happened to Alex Winter?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

And as far as half sweaters and half jackets are concerned... I guess what irks me the most is the transparency of the outfits. People wear jackets and sweaters because they're cold. But in the case of the cropped sweater/jacket, they're wearing it to be fashionable, and that's it.




4) Parachute Pants

I was in grade school when these were the rage. The coolest thing ever was to wear parachute pants along with one of those red and black Michael Jackson jackets and try to moonwalk in the gravel during recess.



I still remember the sound of nylon scraping against nylon when one walked in these things. At the height of the parachute pant craze, the recess bell would ring and the air would be filled with swish-swishing of the nylon-clad running for the door.



I'm still not sure what the purpose of all those pockets were, though I had a friend who always had something in every single pocket, including that impossibly small one by the ankle. He always grimaced when he sat down.

3) Spandex bodysuits


Bruce Dickinson has spandex amnesty because he's a real-life superhero.

I don't think I need to explain too much here.

Almost every metal band from the 80's decked themselves out from head to toe in full-body spandex. And because of it, they had legions of screaming women clawing over each other just so they could reach up toward their package and squeal like pigs on fire.



This is one of those things where it seemed so normal back then, but I look at now and just start laughing. Especially when I think about those guys at the concerts who weren't in the band, but wore the spandex anyway.


"No matter how buff I get, the guys still make fun of me, and I don't know why."

2) Baggy Pants/clothes that are falling off

Twenty years from now, a lot of people are going to be showing pictures of themselves to their children, and their kids are going to say, "Daddy, why were your pants falling down? Why are you showing your underwear?"

"Well, son," they'll say, patting junior on the head. "It was the fashion back then."



And the child will sit there for a moment, scratch his head and say, "It was the fashion to look like an assclown?"

1) Grills



If you don't think this is the stupidest fashion trend of the past twenty-five years, and maybe of all times, you're wrong.

In case you don't know what Grills are, read this. Basically it's cosmetic teeth so you look like that Jaws guy from the James Bond movies.



Dentists around the world simultaneously slapped themselves in the forehead when this first became popular. They are obviously horrible for your teeth. Which of course makes them so much more popular.


"I caught a tree leprechaun, and he got me my teeth."

But even more bothersome is how people seem to ignore how much of an idiot you look like when you wear these. Of all the stupid, weird, and idiotic fashions of the years, it's kind of troublesome that the stupidest ones are the most recent.

Honorable mention: Gaucho Pants, giant belts, fat shoelaces, anything with fringe.

So that's it. Why is it we can look back at certain things and be utterly embarrassed by them, but still think it's the coolest thing ever at the time? What changes in our brain?

180 comments:

  1. I got a lot to say about this post. It was fantastic!

    But before all that, my husband and I were having an argument about Bruce Dickson just this morning.

    He says he hates when rock stars get old and cut their hair but he was very happy when Bruce did. He thinks he looks so much cooler with short hair. Me? I'm like, Oh man, he should have left it long!

    So I'm asking a true Bruce fan his opinion. Whaddaya think?

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  2. Keep up the top/bottom/don't-do tens, dude. So much entertainment, and pretty much the only way I can understand anything; list-form.

    10/10

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  3. I think Bruce looks sexy as hell with the short hair. It looks more distinguised for a gentleman his age. He did have gorgeous long locks though. *swoon*

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  4. I heard the baggy pants thing is from prison - no belts so your pants tends to fall a bit ... but I'm sure most guys following that have no idea ...

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  5. I heard the baggy pants thing is from prison - no belts so your pants tends to fall a bit ... but I'm sure most guys following that have no idea ...

    Yep. It's an "in honor of" thing, like cornrows. I like hidden messages in fashion, I don't think the baggy clothes thing will be any less popular in 20 years, honestly...

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  6. Grills make me think that maybe we shouldn't survive as a species.

    At the very least, we should devolve to a state where culture doesn't exist. We've apparently scraped the bottom of the barrel, so maybe it's time to start from square one.

    Great post.

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  7. the baggie/ falling off pants thing did start in prison
    as a way for punks to advertise that they were available for sex
    the lower they hang the more they would do

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  8. "I don't think the baggy clothes thing will be any less popular in 20 years, honestly..."

    Hey, Nostradamus, I'm sure the 14-year-old crowd thought the very same thing back in the 70's.

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  9. A child of the 80's.9/23/2006 1:09 PM

    There were a lot more fasion disasters in the 80's.

    Leather shoes with no socks.
    Cut fringe t-shirts(tease shirt).
    Plastic Belts.
    Men in white suits with pink shirts.

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  10. Excellent! But in the same vein as the half shirts you need to consider the sleeveless turtleneck. Much more prevalent and just as stupid. If it's chilly enough for a turtleneck maybe some sleeves would be helpful, idiots.

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  11. One word: Hypercolor

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  12. Well, I guess my HyperColor shirts are still fashionable! On one goes right now!!

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  13. Is that a picture of Stryper???

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  14. You forgot bellbottoms!

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  15. You also forgot white tennis shoes, topsiders, and clogs...

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  16. You also forgot izods and dolphin shorts.

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  17. Noobs, the baggy pants thing did start in prison/jails because you got whatever size that they had availible for you. Clothes made for big white guys didn't fit the smaller Mexicans that ended up wearing some of them. Those Mexicans formed prison gangs. It spilled out into the world after those gang members got out of prison and were in gangs outside of the joint. Don't just Google an answer as most people who posted here wrote something that was almost verbatim of what I found on a google search of this subject.

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  18. I've got another fashion gripe, that I think makes baggy clothes look like nothing. It's guys with their pants too low, because they won't admit that they have gained weight. "I wear the same size as in high school!" they say proudly. That's only because they're wearing them at their hips, not their waists. They drag a few inches on the ground, and walk around with huge bellies spilling over their waistband. Bonus points for those guys who tuck their shirts in (especially when it's a business suit) and you realize that the gap between pant and top of belly would make a great mountain climbing exercise. "How do I get past this impossible overhang!"

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  19. This list can't be more truer to the idiot fashion trends that go through.

    #9... Why don't you pick one or the other as both just looks stupid.

    #7 has an entire industry behind it, including Cafe Press... which will put whatever idiotic thing you want on something & sell it for like $15.

    #2 is a safety issue, especially for thugs. How can they run from the cops with their crotches hanging around knees or lower? The invention of the Belt was designed to prevent this!

    #1 is the most idoitic thing I've ever heard people doing! When did these braces become popular as it obviously seems like a spin-off on them. I would rather waste $250 or more on video games or beefing up my computer than install some idiot hardware inside my mouth that'll ruin practially all professional interviews (except with the rap industry).

    Just follow your own style & screw everybody else who tries to follow.

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  20. OK! I am really questioning your credibility on this topic.

    You are trying to tell me that leg warmers have more of an ugly factor than the ultimate numb-skull, waco fashion......... wearing your clothes backwards?

    See KrissKross for reference.

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  21. LMAO...good work! Especially the "moonwalking in the gravel during recess" comment...hell, I must have blocked that one out due to post-traumatic-stress!

    Cheers,
    Mac

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  22. You forgot one:

    Remember "Kris Kross"? Remember people wearing their clothes backwards?

    ...I always thought that there was only one reason a guy would want a zipper over his ass.

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  23. Yeah Bruce's hair looks nice short. I think he'd just look goofy now. Well, he does sometimes but yeah.

    I think that Confederate flag prom dress should get an honorable mention tho, *guffaw*

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  24. how about now - the untucked shirt look for men? this will now be known as the "Jr High School Look".

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  25. this post is ridiculous, you have no idea what fashion involves so you point fun at trends in cultural circles, don't quit your day job mr funny guy

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  26. hey, what about stirrup pants?!? If those ever came back into style, I swear I'll hang myself with Rosie O'Donnell's thong underwear.

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  27. '"No matter how hard I push, it just doesn't go on. Maybe I need a bigger one." '

    that's the funniest thing i've read all day. haha. see that? that's the only interpretation of my laughter i have. i came up with that.

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  28. You forgot about wearing masks made out of human flesh. Also, that thing where the shoes had little pockets in them. Kangaroos, I believe they were called. Did someone say that already? I don't like to read. :(

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  29. Where are the popped collars?

    Those are an abomination to humanity.

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  30. Moon boots? Nuff said.

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  31. Dipshits.

    The baggy clothes things has been in the ghetto forever because we always got hand me downs from older siblings, that didn't quite fit. There was a point where this ceased to be embarrasing and poor black people embraced it, as just us.

    Of course, that's the stupid part.

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  32. #1 should be wearing baseball caps backwards. It's mind boggling it didn't even crack the top ten.

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  33. I knew a guy in high school who had a couple half shirts. He was on the football team, though, and he only used them as something to wear under his shoulder pads on hot days so they wouldn't irritate his skin. But that was something that only the other football players would ever see... he had better sense than to wear them in public. And they weren't originally made that way but were old shirts he'd cut up with a scissors.

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  34. How about sweatpants? They were a bad idea from the beginning, and they look even worse in public LOL

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  35. you forgot about women's ankle socks and high heels

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  36. I have no idea if people in other areas had to suffer through the craze, but in NJ from around 88-92 or so everyone was wearing Cavariccis. Those fugly pants with the white label right over the fly that kind of bowed out on the legs all baggy, then were typically rolled up tight at the ankles. Paired with red, white, or black hi-top reeboks. And B.U.M. Equipment shirts. And crap from Chess King! Gack! Flashbacks. The horror!

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  37. haha. gow about the dumbasses who left the tags on their clothing. farkin eedgits. that had to have started with one brokedick wanting to take their ten dollar hat back for the refund, and the tag falling out:

    "seriously, yo! tags' the bomb, man!"

    and, i hate that i STILL see it, but the damn jeans ripped to shit like a ladder of idiocy up both legs with white tights underneath. worse is when you see them now, it is usually on overweight women who never get in the sun and decide to update the fashion by punishing us all . . . no white tights underneath.

    and, if you were in grade school when parachute pants came out, you were sucking a teat when everyone was tying bandanas around their thighs.

    needledick ties of the 80's? oh god, i wore them. silk ones.

    got's to disagree with the bellbottom comment above. made it back a second time around. not all that bad.

    and the pennyloafers sans socks? loved everything about it except for the smell of death when a motherfarker took them off to suit up in gym class.

    love it. thanks fark for the link . . .

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  38. it seems like you bash a lot on the black culture. i mean, leg warmers was worn by a lot of people alike, but grills, fitted caps, and fashions of those sorts are primarily seen among the black community. we dont need that shit here. dont hate the black culture because you see white people looking ridiculous trying to imitate their styles.

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  39. are you serious? man youre just looking for black haters. and hey, if they wanna have a culture that includes grills, maybe they should be bashed.
    most of you guys who commented saw the fun in the article, but people gettin al angry about baggy pants? they look stupid, thats why there on the list.

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  40. 10) Shoulder Pads - that's when women were first surging forward in the corporate workplace and thought that they couldn't advance if they looked like men. To maintain their femininity they all got poofy hair and TFB makeup.

    9) Small Hat - FIIK!

    8) Leg Warmers - Dancers started wearing them because they needed to keep their legs warm and they looked cool while you danced. Then everyone who didn't wanted to look artsy-fartsy like they were in Flashdance.

    7) "I'm With Stupid ->"

    6) Zubaz - The idea is that you're supposed to be some kind of mega bodybuilder like Arnold and your legs are just too massive for regular pants. Also hides tiny reproductive parts caused by steroid abuse, which tight jeans would reveal.

    5) Half Tops - Chicks looked pretty cute in these. Guys must have started wearing them in an early moment of American metrosexuality. Prince can wear them, though. That's ok.

    4) Parachute Pants - Are you kidding? They were slick, you slid around the furniture on them and you had a million pockets! They also made a wiffeling sound second only to corduroy! Who couldn't love that?

    3) Anyone who played in Iron Maiden could wear Spandex. So could cute little gymnists from the former Soviet Union. We all wanted to be either Bruce or Nadia. Is that so wrong?!

    2) Until surfers started skateboarding mens jeans were tight enough to appreciate a fine ass. However, you need to flex and move on a board, so you either wore those gay little spoty shorts or jeans waaaaaaay too big. To compensate the jeans must now hang down low enough to show the ass. Not the same.

    1) Grills just scream "Please punch me in the mouth and steal my goods!" They also say "My mother is a crack whore, my father is in jail and I just have way too much money on my hands!" The whole trend started with dentists not being able to match the tobacco stains and coke erosion on the natural teeth of these semi-toothless morons.

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  41. 10) Shoulder Pads - that's when women were first surging forward in the corporate workplace and thought that they couldn't advance unless they looked like men. To maintain their femininity they all got poofy hair and TFB makeup.

    9) Small Hat - FIIK!

    8) Leg Warmers - Dancers started wearing them because they needed to keep their legs warm and they looked cool while you danced. Who didn't want to look like they were in Flashdance?

    7) "I'm With Stupid ->"

    6) Zubaz - The idea is that you're supposed to be some kind of mega bodybuilder like Arnold and your legs are just too massive for regular pants. (Also hides tiny reproductive parts caused by steroid abuse, which tight jeans would reveal.) Only Vin Diesel is allowed to wear these now.

    5) Half Tops - Chicks looked pretty cute in these. Guys must have started wearing them in an early moment of American metrosexuality. Prince can wear them, though. That's ok.

    4) Parachute Pants - Are you kidding? They were slick, you slid around the furniture on them and you had a million pockets! They also made a wiffeling sound second only to corduroy! Who couldn't love that?

    3) Anyone who played in Iron Maiden could wear Spandex. So could cute little gymnists from the former Soviet Union. We all wanted to be either Bruce or Nadia. Is that so wrong?!

    2) Until surfers started skateboarding mens jeans were tight enough to appreciate a fine ass. However, you need to flex and move on a board, so you either wore those gay little spoty shorts or jeans waaaaaaay too big. To compensate the jeans must now hang down low enough to show the ass. Not the same.

    1) Grills just scream "Please punch me in the mouth and steal my goods!" They also say "My mother is a crack whore, my father is in jail and I just have way too much money on my hands!" The whole trend started with dentists not being able to match the tobacco stains and coke erosion on the natural teeth of these semi-toothless morons.

    You also forgot womens jeans with the big butt and little tiny ankles, gaurenteed to make even Angelina Jolie look like she belongs in a beige mini van.

    Or the zippered jump suit. Didn't that just scream future tech? Almost as glamerous as the velour "I'm an athlete!" jogging suit.

    Or the headband / sweatband combo on men with really big poufy hair just in case a spurt of exercise broke out? As swank as those middle-aged women who wore thong leotards to the gym.

    And the new pink shirts for men...

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  42. I was right there with you until you ripped on fat laces in your honourable mentions. If you really need to fill the space with something anti-hiphop, may I suggest the XXXL jerseys worn by 140 pound dudes?

    I gotta seriously question anyone who thinks that a pair of Adidas shelltops with a set of fat laces is an embaressing trend.

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  43. Thanks Merry! I did a google search and compared and I must admit there are some hot pics of him with short hair too. I think it was just all that silkiness, Hair I personally want(ed), that did me in so many years ago.

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  44. Baggy Pants?
    http://tinyurl.com/h8rx3

    "Parolee running from cops felled by baggy pants
    By Kimra McPherson
    Mercury News

    Looking back, Johnny Camel might have wanted to invest in a belt.

    The Salinas man was allegedly attempting to run from California Highway Patrol officers last week when his baggy pants fell down around his ankles, sending him tumbling to the ground.

    Officers had stopped Camel, 37, at about 4:30 a.m. Friday at Work Street and John Street in Salinas for minor traffic violations when Camel suddenly jumped from his sedan and started to run, Officer Jeramie Bowen said. Officers yelled for Camel to stop, but he glanced over his shoulder and kept going.

    But he made it only about 100 feet before his pants -- and then Camel himself -- dropped to the ground."

    And for Zippy the Pinhead's take on this stuff: http://tinyurl.com/gusuf

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  45. What about the recent trend for those godawful boots? Uggs or some such. You know the ones, the things that were so fugly you'd even do a double take at Paris Hilton wearing them, whereas nobody would be surprised if she turned up in a garbage bag with a dead raccoon on her head.

    Actually, why not just put "everything Paris Hilton has worn" on the list? Or just "Paris Hilton"?

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  46. I don't care how or why the baggy clothes fad started. I think the reason it continues is so guys can grab their package at all times to keep their pants up. Guys-listen up- there isn't anything as hot as a man in well fitting jeans.

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  47. Where's the love for the Member's Only jackets. There were also the leggings under a skirt made popular by Madonna and, unfortunately,are making a comback.

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  48. I would definitely have to agree with everything on this list. I think there are a few things that are worse out there... like guys who wear a XXXXL shirt down to there knees when the weigh 130lbs... but hey thats me. As for the comment made earlier about the untucked shirts... I think there is nothing wrong with that. Its called Fashion. Shit changes. Who wears a tucked in shirt anymore especially with jeans. Good Lord! I will agree with the baggy jeans though. Guys need to put on some pants that fit and stop letting their asses hang out.

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  49. i'm so with ya on the baggy pants. i can't stand to see some dude wearing pants that look as tho they are gettin' ready to slide off. i just want to go up to him and yank'em up!
    i'm sure that would go over real well.

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  50. I remember in 9th grade, we laughed really really hard at the motivational speakers who tried to claim that the baggy pants thing started out in prison.
    I guess it may have started in prison, but I know that every at MY school who wore baggy pants were doing so they could hide drugs and shoplift more easily, and that's the gospel.
    Also, extremely baggy pants look really stupid, but I see lots of emosexuals who let the backlash from this trend go way too far.
    Point: Baggy pants aren't all that stupid; you sound like somebody's lame opinionated dad.

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  51. I'm guilty of wearing shirts with silly phrases on them, but to my credit everyone who sees them laughs.

    But yeah, I agree about the grinds and the half-sweaters. WTF?

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  52. Why do people get so racist when they start this type of "kids these days" bullshit?
    Newsflash for everybody: The fact that you make fun of "rappers" instead of "black people" does not prevent you from sounding racist. This is not because they are the same thing; this is because everybody knows you're talking about black culture in general. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be allowed to comment on black fashion; I'm just saying that you should admit that it's what you're doing so that you act a little more baffled, a little less critical, and it won't be obvious that you've never been around many black people before.
    Thanks.

    And the internet in general really IS starting to sound more and more like somebody's lame dad.

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  53. I can't believe nobody has mentioned acid washed jeans! Just add the Member's Only jacket, and you are back in 80s hell.

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  54. Just because somebody mentions two or three things about black culture in a list of 10 things they are suddenly racist? wtf? Grills are fucking retarded, no matter who you are.

    The main character of this guy's book is a black girl. I doubt he would do that if he was racist.

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  55. What IS it with a "black people are cool and I am so P.C (or so mind bendingly ghetto) that I am gonna leap all over some guys OPIONION until there is not freedom of speech".

    You people need to sort it out, seriously, take a deep breath, brace yourself, and PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS.
    Baggy ankle-skimming pants are worn for fashion, the majority of black AND WHITE people who wear them are only trying to convey ONE message. and the message is this. "Yo ya'll, I is like a gansta innit, and also, I is WAY like a total ASSHAT, booyakasha!"
    I grew up wearing hand-me-downs, and my clothes always fit me fine, maybe these guys in the hood had mum's who more actively practiced family control, maybe their dad's were'nt giving it to their mommas hard enough, or "pimpin'" them, or whatever passes for an approprietly cool way to misstreat and degrade women in their male dominated craphole, the lousyness of which they revel in rather than try to change.

    Anyway, this has nothing to do with baggy pants, the point is this, I do NOT want to see some teenagers asscrack, teenagers do not wash often enough, the very THOUGHT makes me cringe, without the image. I guess if I were a gay man it would be different, HEY! maybe they are TRYING to attract gay men! That makes loads more sense.

    Now, lets see how p.c you motherf**kers stay when I infer you're queer. By the way, what you are about to do is how you loose ALL support in your audience.

    YES, I THINK YOU WEAR THOSE TROUSERS BECAUSE YOU WANT A BIG FAT C**K UP YOUR ASSHOLE. STREATCHING IT IN THE WAY THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.BATTYEBOY.
    It's a sign! like thoses little handkerchiefs homosexuals wear in L.A (hi guys!), A big baggy, awful, sign that they want a man up them. A man with better fashion sense, who will take them away from the ghetto.

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  56. I can't understand why the peeking thong out the back of the low rise jeans wasn't mentioned.

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  57. What is it with thongs? just imagine touching those things to put them into the laundry basket. Thats if you havent wiped your but properly its like floss they just have to stink and be riddeled with bacteria. Think about it its far very far from being sexy!!

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  58. great article, You got farked. Someday I hope I have something worth reading and I get farked.

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  59. The shoulder pads are supposed to make the waist seem smaller by making the shoulders appear wider.

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  60. God dammit, the thong problem was mentioned before I had chance to do it. Another "fashion" thing I hate is girls wearing jeans way low but with a roll of fat over the top of the waistband. I'm not getting at big girls cos I'm pretty big myself but hell, I wouldn't want people to see me like that and I sure as hell don't think it looks good on anyone else. Dress to your size for god's sake, you can be big and look good but not like that.

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  61. fuck all u white people. just cause u dont have a stlye dont mean u can call us out on it. dump ass mutha fuckers. i wear my grill proudly like white people wear overalls

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  62. Ah, and who does not recall the wide-lapel double-breasted era, when Charles de Gaulle and Eisenhower swathed themselves like mummies ("gradually, the lid of the coffin opens...")? In Teen Town, it was Marlon Brando and James Dean in dungarees and undershirts... oh, my aching wacka-do! Surely the Serendipitous Sixties deserve some prize for looks that crossed coral snakes with gila monsters... and then, the Seventies, when double-knit met plastic jumpsuits. Nevermind.

    In actuality, good bourgeois men's styles have sat in frozen stasis since the 1830s. We say: Bring back embroidered waistcoats, white silk stockings, lace collars, silver-buckled shoes... after all, since knickers went the way of crinolines and bustles, how could so-called "fashion design" be any worse?

    ReplyDelete
  63. I agree with all of those. BTW, black culture and fashion used to be very hip. Today...not so much. Don't go calling me racist because I'm black. Maybe it's because common sense. Baggy clothes and grillz are. stupid. and. completely. unnecessary.

    ReplyDelete
  64. bitches jealous of my grill

    ReplyDelete
  65. generically, nothing beats some dumb fool who spends money to look poor. $150 for a pair of pre-ripped jeans jsut shows how dumb you are...

    ReplyDelete
  66. Striped jeans. Designer jeans--worn tighter than skin. Ripped jeans. Antiqued jeans. Colored jeans (like purple denim). Oh god...there's a whole history of bad jean trends.

    Overalls and high heals. Short shorts and nylons (think Chrissy Snow). gacccggghhh. My brain hurts.

    Doesn't matter what race you are. There are always going to be fashion victims.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Confession:

    I had a pair of Hammer pants.

    Yes, I am ashamed. But not as ashamed as Hammer is.

    ReplyDelete
  68. What about...

    Acid Washed Denim
    Mall Hair
    Mullets
    Capezios

    ReplyDelete
  69. Its not racial if its the truth. That kris kross style never caught on so I don't think it should be on the list but damn was it stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  70. I've seen plenty of white people sporting grillz and wearing their jeans halfway down their ass. What really gets me is those who belittle the black culture are the same ones trying very hard to imitate it. A white man with dread...are you fucking serious. Bubba sparks, eminem....who made them black.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Everyone who thinks Matt is racist for calling grills and pants falling down your ass stupid ideas are probably the ones who think these are really cool ideas, so taking them seriously is ridiculous and horrible for your teeth. And you know, plenty of white people think these are really cool ideas too, so both races are guilty of looking like an idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  72. I still have my mullet and will until the day I die (business up front play in the back). What about the hair teased to the ceiling with enough hairspray to withstand Niagra falls. The new body piercing craze, ouch hurts me to look at.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Okay, seriously...
    SHOES THAT LIGHT UP EVERY TIME YOU WALK!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Q: "Why is it we can look back at certain things and be utterly embarrassed by them, but still think it's the coolest thing ever at the time? What changes in our brain?"

    A: Nothing changed in your brain. It's called group think. Some weaker brains are symbolically linked to the group brain. The group brain is naturally unstable, and when the group brain changes, the sheeple think that their brains changed.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Shame on you for dissing mullets! Or dragon pants. Or parachute pants! Shame, shame, shame!

    ReplyDelete
  76. Fantastic post! I never new those ridiculous pants were called Zubaz. Thanks for the knowledge though maybe I wish I still didn't know.

    Did Member's Only jackets get any consideration? Those were pretty sad and exceptionally popular.

    ReplyDelete
  77. or what about those ridiculous 8 ball jackets?

    ReplyDelete
  78. Gaucho pants are something of a misnomer. Those flowing, mid-calf pants with a wide, sash-like belt, so commonly worn with long, black boots? PIRATE PANTS!

    ReplyDelete
  79. Im 21 and i have no idea what hypercolour and bell bottems etc are ? Grills makes me want to drop a nuke on the rap culture tbh. All they do is waste amazing amounts of money - walk around with guns and dress like F****** tw4ts - oh and also why the hell do they have female followers when all the rappers rap about is fucking bitch's and about Respect! they have absolutly no respect for ANY thing but there dicks.

    Sorry for the angry post but for the love of god - grow out of rap.

    I personally think that the general clothing at the moment is pretty much as good as its going to get - i personally just dress smart casual .. fitting jeans - fitting T-shirt - its only the idiots who like rap or 13 yr old skaters who all dress silly :) if you luk at the cloth's that you have posted such as this Hypercolour and the cut of shit with no arms etc .. its all adults that have them ... where as in the year 2006 its only kids who dress like pr!cks ... there for .. the fashion of recent times is the best :)

    ReplyDelete
  80. How about those contact lenses that make you look like you've been struck by lightning in the eye or like some psycho opthalmologist has been messing with your pupils. o_0

    ReplyDelete
  81. What about the "skort"? You know, those awful shorts-in-the-back-but-looks-like-a-skirt-from-the-front things.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Why oh why are pink shirts back?? I hope the leather ties in pastel colors will not follow!
    The knitted hats ("beanie"?) is practical, but looks stupid when worn 24x7.
    Moon boots is one of the worst things EVER - but I believe it's more than 25 years since they surfaced (more than 30, actually).
    As for Bruce, he can have his hair however he likes it - he'll always be cool!

    ReplyDelete
  83. yeah yeah yeah,,, u right..maybesomeday i will use your damn dirty teeth make a grillz for your papa~~~hahahahaha stupid assssssssssssssssss

    ReplyDelete
  84. yeah yeah yeah,,, u right..maybesomeday i will use your damn dirty teeth make a grillz for your papa~~~hahahahaha stupid assssssssssssssssss

    ReplyDelete
  85. " What really gets me is those who belittle the black culture are the same ones trying very hard to imitate it. A white man with dread...are you fucking serious. Bubba sparks, eminem....who made them black."

    goddamn people are stupid

    ReplyDelete
  86. My personal nightmare from the 80's that never seemed to go away: Fat women in leggings. Like looking at 10 pounds of sausage in a 2 pound casing!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  87. I don't agree with the leg warmer one. Some girls look very cute in them. I wonder what people in the future are going to say about what we wear today.

    ReplyDelete
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  89. black,white, WHO CARES, we're all humans,what difference does "colour" or race make?why argue,people can wear what they want,doesn't hurt anyone else, and being racist is just stupid,people can't agree to get along coz everyone thinks they're better than the person next to them,it's just clothes,why get so worked up about it,just makes you sound like a hyper 6 year old who's just discovered a swear word...

    ReplyDelete
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  91. lol! this was hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  92. I wore parachute pants in the 4th grade because all the cool kids were doing it. I squatted down to get something out of my locker and my pants actually popped!!! (leaving me with a large embarassing hole on my butt)That's also about the time I stopped doing what everyone else thought was cool...

    ReplyDelete
  93. Paul Wall is a fat, stupid, white nigger and I resent him and everyone like him. They are breathing our air and eating our food and poisoning the weaker members of society with drivel telling them to revere money, greed, materialism, clothes and all the unimportant things in life...

    a Grill? come the fuck on!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Does anyone remember sugar/potato sack shorts..? You could usually find these shorts on 40 year old men sporting "Bad Boy Club" shirts (brush cut meathead flexing clip art character)at April Wine concerts. The shorts were usually littered with foreign beer company logos (knock offs) and fancy sugar manufacturers (real-deal). Nothing quite like selling a pair of sugar bags (w/deluxe draw string belt)for $60 at their peak.

    ReplyDelete
  95. www.hookahhippo.com

    ReplyDelete
  96. RapWillNeverDie4/17/2007 4:17 PM

    To ih8rap: you said "its only the idiots who like rap or 13 yr old skaters who all dress silly." Hmmm ok I LOVE rap and I dress very well...I think you are an asshole you needs to shut the hell up.

    ReplyDelete
  97. How is the fanny pack not on this list?

    ReplyDelete
  98. the writer of this article is a fuckin idiot. grillz are hella sick. its the same shit as wearing jewelery on other parts of the body. i mean, c'mon, wtf is the difference? obviously, this writer is either jealous or cant afford one, or most likely, both. honestly, this is probably the best trend of the list.

    ReplyDelete
  99. fuck you tyler, you racist motherfucker

    ReplyDelete
  100. joey c is also an idiot

    ReplyDelete
  101. "Anonymous said...
    This list can't be more truer to the idiot fashion trends that go through.

    #9... Why don't you pick one or the other as both just looks stupid.

    #7 has an entire industry behind it, including Cafe Press... which will put whatever idiotic thing you want on something & sell it for like $15.

    #2 is a safety issue, especially for thugs. How can they run from the cops with their crotches hanging around knees or lower? The invention of the Belt was designed to prevent this!

    #1 is the most idoitic thing I've ever heard people doing! When did these braces become popular as it obviously seems like a spin-off on them. I would rather waste $250 or more on video games or beefing up my computer than install some idiot hardware inside my mouth that'll ruin practially all professional interviews (except with the rap industry).

    Just follow your own style & screw everybody else who tries to follow.

    9/23/2006 2:22 PM"

    WHOEVER WROTE THIS COMMENT...
    YOU ARE PROBABLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING IDIOT OF THIS WHOLE TOPIC BESIDES THE WRITER. OBVIOUSLY YOU MUST BE FROM THE EAST COAST. YOU FUCKIN MORON, WHY DOES MOST EAST COAST BITCHES HAVE TO HATE ON WEST COAST TRENDS? GRILLZ ARE PROBABLY THE BEST THING ON THIS LIST, WHAT DO YOU WEAR???!??!?!

    AND THIS GUY


    "Anonymous said...
    this post is ridiculous, you have no idea what fashion involves so you point fun at trends in cultural circles, don't quit your day job mr funny guy

    9/23/2006 3:26 PM "


    I FUCKING AGREE WITH YOU

    ReplyDelete
  102. OK....
    SERIOUSLY, 99% OF THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS. I'VE POSTED ABOUT 4,000 COMMENTS ON THIS PAGE, AND I THINK I READ ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT. WHY YOU HATING ON THE BLACK CULTURE? SERIOUSLY, YOU FUCKIN CRACKERS MUST BE WRITING THIS SHIT. GET A FUCKING LIFE, AND STOP CRITICIZING GRILLS, BAGGY PANTS, SAGGED PANTS, ANDALL THE OTHERS...FUCK YOU!!!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Necrophiliac4/17/2007 7:35 PM

    Did we fail to mention the slutty looking outfits today. Chicks whose shirts are the size of panties, and their thong riding halfway up their back, or even the jeans wit the fashionable rip that abecrombie puts out. I just stick with my black jeans(on my waist) usual metallica shirt, along with the old school slayer hat.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Necrophiliac4/17/2007 7:43 PM

    and for the Anonymous guy that posted

    OK....
    SERIOUSLY, 99% OF THE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING IDIOTS. I'VE POSTED ABOUT 4,000 COMMENTS ON THIS PAGE, AND I THINK I READ ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT. WHY YOU HATING ON THE BLACK CULTURE? SERIOUSLY, YOU FUCKIN CRACKERS MUST BE WRITING THIS SHIT. GET A FUCKING LIFE, AND STOP CRITICIZING GRILLS, BAGGY PANTS, SAGGED PANTS, ANDALL THE OTHERS...FUCK YOU!!!

    you need to realize that this forum is for rating fashion, and it just so happens that as of recently, the new fashion trends that make no sense come from black culture. Grills aside (im not even going to waste my time ripping on grills), the baggy pants and the oversized hat looks really trashy. You think thats "Origional Ganster" but the true origional gansters wore black or grey pinstripe suits, with those sick hats with the red feather in them (Italian mafia 1920-today). and another added note, origional gangsters didnt shoot their guns sideways either.

    ReplyDelete
  105. maybe nudists have got it right

    ReplyDelete
  106. so other than the whole gaucho (sp?) pants being on the list i agree!lol those pants are sooo comfy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  107. I don't remember some of these trends, because I'm only 22 but thats besides the point. All this bullshit today trying to look "gangsta" needs to die. It's not racism, it's common sense. Personally I think these self-proclaimed hard-asses need to kill each other off. And then ban rap music all together.

    Get ready for the racism!

    All this bullshit about white people needs to stop. There is a difference between niggers and black people. Need proof? Look at rap and how everything needs to be ghetto to these assholes. Get a job, move out of the hood and act like a normal human being. Bitching about the police pulling you over? Don't do stupid shit and look suspicious. Dress like you have dignity.

    Well, just another guys opinion that is.

    ReplyDelete
  108. i sure do hate blacks that always think we are being racist get a life u ignorant thickheaded fu*ks and im sure you are gonna talk sh** blah blah blah just remember it isnt our fault our great grandfathers owned yours haha peace

    ReplyDelete
  109. Spandex rules i hope it comes back..!!
    Shame you showed leather and not spandex morons..!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Baggy pants are ok as long as you PULL EM up and wear a belt, as i for one do not whant to see your dirty boxers and half of your rear ends, Dont forget baggy pants were the norm back in the 30,s 40,s and 50,s as that can be seen in those old movies, Only i never seen one of those movies with a person sagging them and exposing his boxers and half of his hiney like you teen punks do now. Wise up get buy a belt or a pair of suspenders and wear them.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Nav made Ebaums! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  112. no matter how big you are, how much time you spend in the gym, how ripped you are....if you wear a skin tight shirt you look like a fucking tool. And ladies, belly shirts aren't for girls that HAVE bellies! if your gut sticks out past your tits wear something bigger to hide that shit

    ReplyDelete
  113. Wrong!!! some of them created the most memorable moments of their time. Corsets and longstockings look stupid today but in the 1600s you wouldnt be caught without them. Clothes are an expression just like speech and literature.

    ReplyDelete
  114. You missed out crocs. they were the fashion in the UK (and possibly america) last summer. hideously coloured and simply digusting looking...solid proof that fashion victims would buy anything that was in fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Mad props dude, one the funniest lists I've read on the internet.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Anonymous said...

    I have no idea if people in other areas had to suffer through the craze, but in NJ from around 88-92 or so everyone was wearing Cavariccis. Those fugly pants with the white label right over the fly that kind of bowed out on the legs all baggy, then were typically rolled up tight at the ankles. Paired with red, white, or black hi-top reeboks. And B.U.M. Equipment shirts. And crap from Chess King! Gack! Flashbacks. The horror!





    Yep, I remember. My vote for the worst.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Im Hispanic an i have a grill and it goes so fuck what you talkin bout .

    ReplyDelete
  118. okay, seriously you guys who are hating on black people (yes u r refering to the black community) need to get a life. The one who said I would rather spend 250 (grills cost way more btw) on computer games. yea, total nerd. Also who gives a fuck about baggy pants and all that. If its not u dont worry about it. & I would laugh if u "yanked" a black guys pants up, it would be funny to see u picking ur teeth up off the floor.
    <3

    ReplyDelete
  119. rocker made this ....cutt deeper ... no im not black

    ReplyDelete
  120. Necrophiliac4/18/2007 7:33 PM

    yeh you spent 250$ on grills and 500$ on your spinning g-unit chain, and 400$ on your diamond earing bigger then your brain, but don't complain how broke you are in some rap song. And all you people saying this post is racists, go complain to rev. al sharpton, hes the biggest racist of them all

    ReplyDelete
  121. "obviously, this writer is either jealous or cant afford one, or most likely, both."

    Re: Grills/z

    LMFAO!!!!

    It's true; we have four kids to support so definitely can't afford teeth bling. But the image of Matt in grills is enough to make me pee my pants laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ahhhhhhhhhh

    Thanks for the giggle.

    ReplyDelete
  122. I pleased that someone finally mentioned crocs! Those things should all be destroyed. What makes them even worse are the "charms" to put on them! And as far as I'm concerned I do prefer a guy with somewhat baggy pants, after all I would never date a guy who wears pants as tight as mine or worse yet tighter! And skinny jeans are just that for shinny people! More curvy girls just don't look good in them! I also think there should be a law regarding how high a person can wear their pants! Pants should be at hip level! Pants up to your waist doesn't look cool, cute, or hide how fat you are! More annoying yet? Tucking your shirt into high waisted pants. My boss literally wears her jeans up to her boobs and tucks in her shirt. And hello? Did we all forget about gothic clothes?
    Most of the people that I know that wear goth fashions do it to be "different" or "original" even though Hot Topic (like all other stores) mass produce their clothing and accessories, because you know being gothic isn't so rare any more.

    ReplyDelete
  123. the baggy pants arent going away. theyre actually comfortable and far less ridiculous looking than tapered highwater pants. CARPENTER JEANS FOREVER!!! <333

    but i agree the pants that dont fit and sag to the anus with high whitey-tighty is going to be embarassing to explain to future generations

    ReplyDelete
  124. who gives a rats ass what you wear.It is more about who you are as a person. Oh I did love the Stryper photo

    ReplyDelete
  125. UP TH IRONS BRUCE....

    ReplyDelete
  126. "Grills make me think that maybe we shouldn't survive as a species"

    Joey C I couldn't agree more. That comment made me laugh out loud

    : D

    ReplyDelete
  127. Anonymous said...
    i sure do hate blacks that always think we are being racist get a life u ignorant thickheaded fu*ks and im sure you are gonna talk sh** blah blah blah just remember it isnt our fault our great grandfathers owned yours haha peace


    Yea thats why ur anonymous u racist dick head, Im a 14 year old white girl & I know for a fact there aint no diffrenced between u and a black man besides the color of ur skin. Grow up & get ur head out of ur ass, & look around. Fuck you I hope u drink some bleach.

    ReplyDelete
  128. if you think grillz are ugly you better have some damn nice teeth.


    or you just cant afford them

    ReplyDelete
  129. necrophiliac is sort of dumbish

    ReplyDelete
  130. Grills are stupid

    ReplyDelete
  131. <a href="http://easydrugmarket.com/item.php?id=196">Zyban</a>7/30/2007 2:31 AM

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    ReplyDelete
  132. Does anybody remember the beany hats with propellers on top? How about wearing black peggars [pants] with a pink shirt? I actually had a pair of black shoes that were pink around the edges and also came with pink shoe laces. Flat top haircuts were also a must if you didnot have a duck bill haircut.

    ReplyDelete
  133. After reading this comprehensive list, I wanted to ask - where do you stand on the C-string issue?

    ReplyDelete
  134. Yes...that is Stryper. The spandex may be out but the hair is still awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Yep. It's an "in honor of" thing, like cornrows.



    baloney, cornrows have nothing to do with prison or honor

    ReplyDelete
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  140. Grills are over 20 yrs old gold teeth are over 50 .
    the hat with the do-rag under is really not a trend ,it is a way to protect waves from when the hat comes off or goes back on. when white boys do it they think its a trend,i never understood that. i've never seen a guy with waves in his hair unless he had that kinky type of hair

    the baggy pants trend did start in jail someone else said one of the reasons the other reason is they was not allowed to wear belts

    but i prefer a man to wear baggy other than tight,and since im on my grown woman tip above the but.t i can look at the top of your boxes

    its kinda sexy when yall dont have your shirts on,but i do'nt want to see your nasty ass.

    speaking of ass the low riders withe the thong showin was not a good look,not cute at all.

    crocs are good for people living with ms and they're kinda cute,we dont want to wear them ugly ass herman monster boat shoes. if you had a choice between the two wich one would you choose



    AND TYLER THAT NIGGER SHIT WAS UN CALLED FOR,RACIST PRICK

    ReplyDelete
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